Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Article: Impulse Control

Originally Published 13/01/2010 on http://www.bellesmanifesto.blogspot.com/ and 6/08/10 on http://www.girlsguideto.com/

Vidal Sassoon had nothing on Jill
10 Things To Avoid For An Easier Life.

1) Drunken Texting - Drunk words are sober thoughts right? Wrong. Even if you do spend your lunch breaks lusting over your boss, I highly doubt that he will appreciate an in-depth description of your underwear at 3am. His wife may also resent it.

2) Buying Clothes in the Wrong Size – Don’t. Yes that dress might be "gorgeous" / "just like the one Scar-Jo wore in that film" / "perfect for the Christmas party if i diet a bit", but if it’s two-sizes-too-small then don't buy it. It’ll never see the light of day, just take up precious closet space.

3) Skipping Bums and Tums to Watch Desperate Housewives – Slumming on the sofa with a bar of Galaxy and staring at Eva Longoria will only make you feel guiltier about missing your weekly exercise. Be good, wait for the Sunday repeats.

4) Leaving That Important Report Until the Night Before It’s Due - Yes it’s boring but you’ll feel SO much better if you get it out of the way early, (and a lot less guilty about going out for cocktails with the girls).

5) Changing Yourself For a Man - Have you ever read He’s Just Not That Into You? No? Read it. If he doesn’t like you now then no amount of haircuts, crash dieting or new and interesting hobbies will change it. Accept it. And move on. It’s his loss.

6) Blindly Following Every Fashion Trend You Lay Your Eyes On - That sequined tutu may have looked amazing on the catwalk in Milan but there’s no chance in hell you’ll be able to rock that on a high street in Bognor Regis.

7) Work Flings - We all love the thrill of a workplace romance; secret kisses in the hallways, flirty inter-office emails, what’s not to love? Try sexual flashbacks and awkward glances over the boardroom table when your 'passionate affair' goes south.

8) Argument-Fuelled Revenge – OK, he may have called your best friend heavy but playing Frisbee with his prized Rocky collection will only result in more arguments and a lot of guilt sex.

9) Cutting Your Own Hair – Unless you want to look like The Joker, this is one thing best left to the professionals (as is dying, perming and any other complicated follicle artistry).

10 ) Those Last Few Chocolates - Yes you may have eaten half of the box but no that doesn’t mean you have to eat the rest. Put them away. They won't feel lonely, they'll feel happy that they didn't suffer the same painful death as their friends.

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